Making Resolutions
On the cusp of the new year, talk abounds about resolutions—all the good habits we’re going to adopt and all the bad ones we’re going to (finally) conquer. Which naturally begs the question: did you fulfill last year’s resolutions? Which then begs a second question: can you even remember last year’s resolutions?
Not to brag, but I can. Or at least, I have a way of figuring out what they were even if I failed miserably in keeping them. So, amidst all the other year-end recommendations coming at you, let me offer one of my own: Have more fun with your resolutions.
And I have a way for you to do it: Find a partner and make a day of it.
Many years ago, a dear friend and I began what has become one of our most cherished holiday traditions: The Resolution Lunch. A year or two later (we can’t remember exactly when), we started a document that has become an unexpectedly revealing record of our lives: The Resolution Log.
For us, a proper Resolution Lunch takes place under the guise of holiday shopping, although this year my friend and I had to delay it until after Christmas. And while we’re technically supposed to be shopping for other people, have no fear—under our definition, even shopping for yourself during the holiday season qualifies as “holiday shopping.”
Selecting an appropriate location for the Resolution Lunch is obviously critical. Convenience to necessary or desirable stores is essential, as is the proximity to the right kind of food. The main point of the outing is lunch, of course, so you want to enjoy the meal. But you’re also trying to multitask here. Eat too heavy, and you won’t be able to shop. No one wants to go home empty handed. In the early years, my friend and I often went to the Lord & Taylor department store in New York City, which had a wide selection of potential gifts (for us!), as well as a Sarabeth’s Restaurant serving their fabulous preserves on the 5th floor. With Lord & Taylor now closed, we choose a location and restaurant based on the most urgent of our shopping needs.
Once the meal has begun, we don’t get too bogged down in dissecting our favorite crime show or analyzing the latest passive-aggressive text from a neighbor. This is not a normal outing with a buddy; this is the annual Resolution Lunch. You have to stay focused on the task at hand.
As for how to go about making the resolutions, that’s entirely up to you and your friend as long as you record them in a written Resolution Log (e.g., Word document). My friend and I have had years when we’ve made a lot of resolutions, and years when we made just one each. Sometimes, we’ve even had “mottos” and subcategories. Thankfully, some of those have been retired, although we still make resolutions for different aspects of our lives.
We always begin the official part of the meeting with a Reading of the Prior Year’s Resolutions, which is usually a funny exposé of our failings over the last twelve months. With experience, though, we’ve gotten better at minimizing those failings. We rarely commit to doing anything every day or every week or even every month; we just resolve to do whatever it is more. And since we’re not doing that thing very much (or at all) at that moment, doing it even once in the new year qualifies as “more,” and we’ve won this resolution game.
The review of the prior year’s resolutions is typically followed by a Reading of the Old Resolutions, some dating back decades. Which is often even funnier, but also quite revealing. Trend lines emerge from the Resolution Log over a period of years that you might miss in just an annual review. For example, after an embarrassing number of attempts, I’ve finally accepted that no matter how many times I resolve to do so, I’m just not going to wear makeup every day, and I’ve stopped pretending that this is the year it could actually happen.
Down the road, you may never stop laughing at some of the things the “old you” thought were important, but the trend lines in the Resolution Log are where the truth lies, where you can find inspiration. Baby steps that my friend and I tried to commit to years ago (resolutions to “play with photography,” to make more time to read for pleasure rather than work) grew into bigger steps (resolutions to start a photography business, to take a class in writing nonfiction essays), then even bigger steps (resolutions to refocus on wildlife photography, to finish writing a first novel). And although we’ve failed on many, many of our smaller commitments (don’t ask how the daily stretching is going), on these bigger issues, our resolutions have helped us move forward quite a bit.
So, find a close friend and start your own Resolution Lunch Day tradition. You don’t have to shop; go for a hike or bowling or sit by a pool if you’re fortunate enough to be in a warm place. Even if, like us, you’re unable to fulfill all of your goals, at least you’ll have a good chuckle and nice lunch to look forward to in December 2025 (and 2026 and 2027) when you look back at how you did and set your intentions once again.